balloons

Sihanoukville

Now for the first time in what seems like ages, I’m actually having fun. Despite an almost constant thunderstorm and pouring rain, I am having an amazing time in Sihanoukville. It involves drinking, of course.

We stay at Monkey Republic, which has a nice bar and restautant area with a good atmosphere, although no one really seems to be socializing. It makes me feel bad for the solo travellers staying here, and at night, while we’re having a cider at one of the tables, I notice a girl sitting by herself at the bar with no one to talk to. After a while, I hit the bar and order a drink and ask her to join us. Her name is Kirsten, and she’s from Melbourne, but on a 6-month long trip around SE Asia and Europe. We talk about Greece (of course), and get increasingly intoxicated while at it. A girl from Canada, Lauren, joins us at the table, and Sara goes to bed soon after. We decide to go to Utopia, where we enjoy a drinking game and some balloons, while a weird Cambodian guy creeps on us. We leave after he becomes too annoying and head to the beach. Kristen and I are dancing and having our own party, while Lauren goes to talk to people. Not too long passes before we head to JJ’s Bar and go crazy. I am home around 3 at night, after a visit to Jimmy’s kebab stand.

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The day after, Sara and I cross the street and go to TopCat Cinema and watch Don Jon, and then we get some food. The cinema is more like a place full of small rooms with AC and blankets and a PC full of movies and TV shows that you can choose from, and you can buy snacks from a vending machine and even order (happy) pizzas! Most of the food around here is western and good, so we get really fat during our stay. Then we end up drinking ciders at the bar with Kristen again, and the two of us go out to the exact same places, buying tons of balloons. I accidentally pop or let go of a few. I’m home at around 2 after my by now usual kebab.

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Then comes the next day, and it rains even more than ever. Sara and I have a Sex and The City marathon at the cinema for a few hours and then take a nap. We hang out in the bar area, Kirsten joins us and since my hobbies are drinking wine and judging people, we get ourselves a glass and I get Tinder. Fun fact is I get a job offer at JJ’s because I match one of the guys working there.

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Well, bottom line is that Kirsten and I get a bit drunk and want to go to the night market, but I tell her about a guy I’ve noticed at lunch and at the bar. He’s all by himself and no one talks to him, and I feel really bad, but just don’t really know what to do or say. She convinces me to go ask him if he wants to come. My stragedy is to buy us a shot of tequila and ask him if he wants one. And so a night of being really drunk begins yet again.

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I try to stick to balloons, as I have to get up and pack for our bus at 6, but I end up feeling… sick. I go to a quiet place at the beach and get sick, all while watching the thunder getting closer to the beach. It’s beautiful. I also smoke an entire pack of cigarettes that I have somehow acquired, because it replaces the bad taste in my mouth with another bad taste. I don’t last much longer after that, and I get my kebab and hurry home at around 1.

I wake up at 6.15, realising that I have set my alarm for 7 instead in my drunken state. I hurry up and finish packing, but I feel more and more sick. I try to throw up, but not much is coming up. It’s pouring more than ever outside, and the restaurant is still closed, so my hope of waiting for the bus after check-out with some fruit is gone. We get to wait with our backpacks in the shed that is the reception, and the bus is surprisingly almost on time! We start driving, and it’s really upsetting my stomach. I’ve brought a tiny plastic bag with me just in case, and after less than an hour of driving, I quickly get it out of my bag and watery vomit pours out of me. I try to make as little noise as possible, to avoid people noticing or getting sick. Then I notice that my bag is leaking and my lap is getting soaking wet. I have no idea what to do. I just hold on to the bag and feel even worse, until Sara finds another bag that I can dump the leaking one into. It helps, but the damage is done. I am soaking wet and reeking of vomit. We have to drive like 5 hours until we reach Phnom Penh and switch to a bigger bus to Siem Reap. I am slowly drying, the freezing AC making it hard to do, but at our quick stops, I get out in the heat and eat rice and soy sauce to stabilize my stomach and try to dry off as much as possible.

We continue another 7 hours on this bus, and I feel a lot better, but still smelling awful. We get picked up at the bus office and are driven to Angkor Wonder Hotel. I get a shower and throw out my red India pants with the horrible smell on them, and we have some dinner on pub street before crashing. It’s been some hectic days and I need rest.

“Another!”

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Haad Rin is crazy. In between buckets, we do multiple 7-11 runs for amazing toasties (yes, really) and accidentally stealing Chang beers. Yes, Kirstin and Sara walked out of 7-11 without paying for their beers, and it didn’t occur to them that they had just stolen beer. We randomly burst into song, mostly Beyoncé – Drunk In Love, all the time. Like, if we’re having dinner on the beach and one of the bars play the song (which they often do), we’ll knock over our chairs and dance like crazy people. Whereever you are in Haad Rin, you’ll be able to hear “WE BE ALL NIGHT! LOOOVE” constantly. We do this so much, we one night decide to get rings for our middle fingers as a reminder.

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For some reason, we end up hanging out with some douche from Canada. A real know-it-all, who doesn’t want to leave Kirstin alone, so we keep trying to escape him. He even follows us to Cactus bar to do laughing gas.

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Laughing gas is fun! We stand in a circle, inhaling and breathing into a balloon until we’re too dizzy to stand, and we can’t feel our tongues. We laugh for a minute and then scream “Another!” and immeditaly head back to the annoyed bartender. About 4 balloons each later, we decide we’ve finally had enough – or don’t have enough money.

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At one point, we go to the beach and have our tarot cards done. The man basically tells Kirstin and I the same thing: if we drink hot water and eat a potato every morning, we’ll live till we’re 80. We’ll meet a gentleman. We should stop smoking and drinking. Our parents have problems. Oh well.

We get some corn on the cob on the way home, while the douche follows us to our hostel. At least he’s handing out Oreos. He’s still talking shit about how he can’t join the Army for some lame reason and it’s killing him, and I look at him and think oh really? He doesn’t seem like the type that wants to move his ass at all. So I start fake-crying and telling my fake war story, because he is annoying me and he shouldn’t say those things to sound more noble than he is, when he’s full of bullcrap. Fighting a war is not a joke. So I take a piss at him, which I guess makes me the bad guy, but I just want him to shut up and think before he speaks.

As I go to the bathroom to pee and finish fake-crying, Kirstin jumps into the booth and suddenly smashes the corn into the wall, so there’s corn everwhere. Ratchet ass ho.

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The day after, we decide to rent scooters and explore, for once. James and Aylin on one scooter, Sara and John on another, and lastly, Kirstin and I on the very last one. We are always soo behind everyone, that we think we have to go solo for the rest of the day. We scream out “DRUNK IN LOVE” and “WIIIEEENEEERRRR” (like Rachel does in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.) while we are driving around, admiring the beaches and palmtrees around us.


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We go to a beach, the hostel we want to book for the next day, and Thonsala. Then we go to Amsterdam Bar, where we watch the sunset in the pool.

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On the way back, James’ and Aylin’s scooter gets a flat tire, so the rest of us go off road to find some help. And then we crash. Kirstin loses control of the scooter, so we fall off the side of the scooter, and land on the dirt. It doesn’t hurt, until we clean our wounds and start driving to get iodine. Then it starts to sting like a mother! This is what my leg looks like now:

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We decide to head back home by ourselves, in the dark. It takes us hours. By the time we get home, I realize that I have lost my key, steal a room mate’s, and run out to get a new ribbon and a sharpie to write my bedname on it; as if it was mine. Then Sara shows up holding my key, that was hanging around my neck until I fell off the scooter. Thank God! We eat loads of food, Kirstin and I angrily pay 3500 baht for the scooter, that apparently needs a lot of repairing (there’s some mud and a few scratches on it), and then we all pass out.