Lists

The first step towards freedom: graduating and moving out

January 7th 2014 was a big day for me: I finished my last exam and got my Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work. It was the biggest relief I have ever felt. I have been in school since I was 5, sick of it since I was 18. Now I am 22 and I am DONE. It’s mostly been a dreadful experience, but it’s over now, and I can be proud of what I’ve accomplished, since I have been the biggest slacker for the last 3.5 years.

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“YES! A Bachelor’s Degree AND free booze!”

I have been in a permanent state of stress since the Winter of 2012 because of a constant stream of exams and tiring courses, I thought I could relax and just enjoy myself for a while, now that I was done. Not happening. I had one week to move out of my home of two years. A small, newly built place with cheap rent and within walkin distance to pretty much everything. I’ve loved living alone and couldn’t imagine having to go back to a small bedroom and sharing the couch with someone else. Now that’s my life again.

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This is just the tip of a super depressing iceberg.

By the 15th of January I had boxed up some of my belongings and brought them over to my dad’s place. Here I have borrowed my sister’s (and occasionally my stepsister’s) room until March, when I take off to India. The first night at my dad’s was weird. Trying to cook in a new kitchen, sleep in a new bed and show respect for another person’s things while trying to feel at home. I felt like I had made a huge mistake. Being on my own is more comfortable most of the time, but I know it’s for a bigger cause: I’m trying to follow my dream and detach myself from things. I realized quickly that it’s not the things, but the idea of personal space that is so hard to let go of.

There is a lot of paperwork to do when you graduate, move and plan a long trip. It’s been more stressful than any exam could ever be, because this is the real world. It’s not theoretical, it’s real and it’s all on you. Luckily, I just got my Indian Visa, which I was super nervous about, as the application form was super confusing. Almost to the point of tears. You also bleed money even before you purchase the first plane ticket, because there are a lot of things that you just can’t live without when you’re backpacking. Like a backpack. Good shoes. A good eyelash curler. OK so I have all these things, but the vain part of me wants to get a haircut, get a couple of cute outfits and a good towel that dries quickly! These things cost $$, baby. Or €, £, whatever.

Bucketlist: 22 things I’m doing while I’m 22

So, I have no hobbies, unless making lists is considered one. In that case, it’s a huge hobby of mine. Not only do I get to organise some of the mess that’s inside of my head and around me, it also helps me remember things, because I’m basically a goldfish.

I recently made a list of what I accomplished last year. It’s fun to look back at the things that have happened to me, and see what I can cross off my Life List (yes, I also have a list of things I want to do before I die). It’s also painfully obvious that my life is a string of random events, and that I don’t set high or serious goals for myself.

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Alright, so that list is kind of dumb. Now onto something slightly less dumb.

I also made a list of 22 things I want to do this year. This list has been long underway, ’cause coming up with 22 things that are somewhat doable, yet not completely ordinary, is a difficult task. I get exhausted thinking about what my bucketlist for my 30th birthday will look like. Right, here it is:

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So the plan is to have crossed most of these off by the end of my Asia-trip. Obviously, graduating is going to be pretty hard anywhere but home. Let’s hope I complete all of this before I turn 23!