cooking class

Hoi An

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As we get on the bus from Hue to Hoi An with Edda, the German girl, it starts raining. A lot. We drive for 4-5 hours, before we get to Saltwater Hostel, which opened less than a month ago.

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We are really impressed with the place. While its location is so-so – quite a bikeride into town – it looks modern, appealing, and most of all, clean. The cleaning staff really works hard – I leave all of my belongings on my bed one day, and when I come back, my bed has been made, my stuff neatly placed on the bed, and there is a free pack of Mentos right next to my folded pile of clothes! Probably a mistake, so I eat it before anyone notices.
They also have a nice pool, and it’s very social. I recommend it to anyone going to Hoi An!

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The day we arrive, they are doing their very first pubcrawl, and since we’re all about making history, we go. We only go to two bars, but I get very drunk. I mostly hang out with a German and an Irish guy, while Sara hangs out with a group of Danish guys that I seriously dislike for their need to be condescending, slut-shaming pricks. I am home at around 2.30, after dancing with an eccentric Vietnamese lady and being hit on a 10-year older English guy becomes too much to handle.

20140526-091936-33576868.jpgIMG_1347I stole this picture from Edda. She has a bunch of very silly pictures of me from that night, but I decided my drunk face is enough to share for now.

I wake up the next day very hungover. After a shower and breakfast, I immediately run up to my room to curl up in bed. Then we hang out at the pool until it’s time for a cooking class that the hostel helped us book. We ride on bikes to the local market, where a guy explains the different products we will be working with.

IMG_1373 Then we ride out to the countryside with vegetable farms as far as the eye can see. The chef/teacher is fun. He makes us wear ugly hats, throw pancakes in the air and gives us yellow cards when we do somethig wrong. He also thinks I am  17, and says we should get married. Anyway, we make Hoi An springrolls, papaya salad, Vietnamese pancakes, and chicken in claypot.

20140526-091939-33579101.jpgIMG_2360IMG_2355Ingredients for Hoi An springrollsIMG_236620140526-091939-33579842.jpg

 

While we sit down to enjoy our meals, we are enjoying the view of farmers tending their rice fields or picking basil and mint. As the sun is setting, we ride the bikes along the river back to the hostel, enjoying the breeze and the view. We are so full he might as well have rolled us back, though. It’s around 7 pm, and we pass out right away and don’t wake up until 9 the next morning.

We’ve heard that Hoi An is famous for replicating clothes from pictures for no money, so we ride the hostel’s free bikes into town, have a look at the big market, and then go to a tailor. I give them some pictures, and they give me a minimum price. It’sso expensive, I could’ve bought the stuff in the pictures at least twice. Edda is surprised too, and only gets one of her dresses shortened, while Sara gets a dress and a coat. We have to go back for a fitting at night, so we gp back to the hostel to relax a bit. Then, an hour before her fitting, we go into the town and see the Japanese bridge, all the lanterns and the shops. We sit at a café and have some cake and enjoy the beautiful, cozy little town.

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The fitting is over quick, so we just walk around for a while, checking the shops out. When we get home, Sara and I want to get our open bus ticket to Nha Trang confirmed, but the receptionist who calls the bus company is told that we have to show up to do that – something the travel agent selling us the ticket insisted wasn’t necessary. With an hour until their closing time, we hop on bikes and drive the around 4 km to confirm our damn ticket, and then 4 km to go back. I am tired and have a headache, so I have a quick shower, a quick pack, and then I go to bed. Of course, some girls come into the room after midnight and start talking and rummaging through their bags, not giving a fuck that we are trying to sleep. Then, a guy starts puking in the bathroom – loudly! – for like 20 minutes. I wake up around ever 2 hours, pissed.

Our final day in Hoi An consists of a trip to the city to pick up Sara’s clothes, where the ladies at the shop also gets us some bags of coffee each when we ask which coffee is the best, then we ship some of Edda’s stuff home at the postoffice, and have vietnamese lunch at a small family home/café that the clothes ladies have recommended. We have White Rose dumplings, which is a Hoi An specialty. They don’t have a particularly strong taste, but they’re very good.

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Chang Mai

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I am currently in Chiang Mai. My days consist of riding a chang (elephants) and my nights consist of drinking Chang (beer). Life could be a lot worse.

First night in Chiang Mai, we stay in a mixed dorm at SpicyThai, and we sleep from we arrive till the next day, only getting up to get a 30 baht meal at a shady-looking restaurant for dinner. The day after, I am desperate to find a Post Office to send stuff (clothes) home, so we take a trip to the mall, where they were are out of packages, so then we go to the old city, where we meet Sophie and American guy (I want to call him Josh), and manage to find a Post Office and do some sightseeing, sorta.

IMG_1025Yep, that’s definitely sightseeing

The guys in our dorm, Johnny, Geoff and Joel join us for dinner and a trip to the Anusarn night market, followed by a cabaret show.

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The show is amazing, although there isn’t enough Britney. The best ladyboy I’ve ever seen does an amazing show, dancing with the audience, and shoving her chest in my face and rubs it all over my face, till I am full of glitter. Yes, I motorboated a ladyboy. I am so proud.

On the 3rd day, we go to Baan Chang Elephant Park. Earlier this month, I found out that elephant riding is considered animal cruelty. While the elephant is strong and can carry around 200 kg, its spine is too fragile for riding – especially with a saddlechair attached to the back. We did some research to find a place that would allow riding bareback or on the neck instead, as it is a lot better for the elephant. The cheapest option seemed to be Baan Chang. They rescue elephants, which is a plus, but let people ride on their necks, which of course still is “cruel” in some peoples eyes, but at least it seems like the best way to do it. We arrive and get dressed in super trendy denim uniforms, and then get to feed the elephants sugar canes and bananas.

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Then we do Mahout training. We learn the commands, which are in Thai, and then practice getting up on the elephant, and then controlling it for a quick ride. Then we pair up and start riding.

Our elephant is Ying Lee, a female elephant. She follows the other elephants, so I don’t have to control her much (I am on the neck, so I get to steer her), but she likes to stop and snack a lot. Elephants can eat 10 % of their weight, so they spend most of the day eating like 200 kg. As there is nothing to hold on to, riding her is really scary, and I feel like I am about to fall off several times. It doesn’t help that I am feeling nauseous, dizzy, have a bad headache, and that my sight is blurry. I feel miserable, and barely enjoy riding an elephant – something I know I would love any time but then.

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Finally, we get to bathe them. We are sore from riding, and I have back pains and the shakes from being so nervous of falling down, so getting off Ying Lee and into the water is amazing. I absolutely love washing her nose, and it seems like she is enjoying it just as much.

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That makes another thing on my 22 list crossed off!

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# 3: Ride an elephant

I definitely feel worse about elephants being in zoos and these parks now that I’ve fallen completely in love with them, but even when we capture elephants to make them feel better, as in give them medical treatment, we need to put a chain around their foot. At least that’s what I told myself when I saw the elephants around me like that. It’s not optimal, but no one can help them if they run away or go crazy and attack others.

When we get home, we have to switch hostel, as we hated our hostel the first night and quickly booked something else, but ended up liking Spicy Thai anyways. At this point, I am feeling worse than ever, and behind my sunglasses, I am crying. Of course Sara takes her sweet time packing her bag, putting on shoes, and walking towards the road to get a taxi. Of course the taxi does a detour as well. Of course our new hostel is a looong walk through an alley, then after a lenghty check-in, it turns out we are in a dorm that’s at the end of another street. I am on the verge of breaking down. Of course the AC doesn’t work in the room. Of course our three room mates show up 20 seconds after we’ve thrown ourselves in bed, and of course they want to get to know us and get the AC to work. Finally, as Sara yet again talks about yatches, I do what I now do everytime she does that: put in my earphones, and then I fall asleep.

I am woken up by a hungry Sara. I feel better, but still have a horrible headache, and we go for mediocre food and a great ice cream at Blue Diamond. We go back to the room, get into an awesome conversation with our roommates about serial killers, and suddenly I pass out again.

The next day we get a room at the main building of the hostel, Kikie’s House. We go with our roommate Kaleigh, and get a nice dorm together. After that, we all decide to go to the zoo. Bad idea.

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I will spare you all my animal photos. Actually, no I wont.

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First, most animals are locked in cages that are too small, or they are living with other species. Giraffes, zebras and emus share a space, which is random. You can feed the animals if you pay up. Seems like the animals will be either over- or underfed, depending on how many visitors will be there that day. Most of the animals aren’t even there. The main attraction is the panda cage, which we have to pay an additional fee to get into – which no one tells you, until you reach the cage. We pay the fee anyway, and there are two pandas in there. Two. We are furious, and storm out of the zoo not too long after that.

At 4, Sara and I are picked up and driven to a market. We have an evening cooking class at Siam Rice, recommended by Kirstin, and first we get a lecture on the ingredients at the market with a Canadian couple, who is also attending the class. After the lecture, we are driven to the school.

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We make 5 dishes each and get a free dessert. I make coconut chicken soup, pad thai, chicken cashew nut, curry paste and yellow curry, and then for dessert, mango sticky rice. Yum.

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After dinner, we get a certificate and a recipe book! It was a great experience, and I would do it again! Another thing on my list crossed off.

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# 19: Take a class

Since it is Sunday, there is a special night market on the walking street, and it is amazing. We go with Kaleigh, and I buy so much amazing shit: a watch, a passport holder, backpack, T-shirt, two skirts, a keychain and lots of food. Yes, I got hungry again.

IMG_210120140505-223225.jpgCollages are time savers and awesome. Must do this more often. Also, Kaleigh’s pulling tissues out of a butt, ha ha.

We then go for drinks at Zoe, where we meet Sophie from SpicyThai, and have a great time until we get sleepy and go home.

The day after, we go to Tiger Kingdom. They claim they don’t drug the tigers, but they are kept in cages according to size: newborn, small, medium and big. We choose a package deal with the small and big tigers, and we start with the smaller ones. Now I am disappointed, as I thought small meant, you know, small. Those “small” tigers are freaking huge! We go in and take pictures for 10 minutes, then move on the big ones. They are about 20 months old and massive! Some of them definitely don’t like having us in there, and I get hit by a tail a few times, which would make anyone a bit jumpy.

IMG_1340 IMG_1355 IMG_1358This is a “small” tiger. Luckily, Kaleigh got a picture of me being scared.IMG_1425 IMG_1440Big tiger!

I am extremely high and exhausted afterwards. We just petted big-ass tigers! Yes kids, another thing crossed off my list here in Chiang Mai. I am on a roll.

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#13: Pet a wild animal

We take a nap and then go to the night market a few hours later, before the rain forces us home. I’m addicted to this night market, you guys.

The next morning, our beds start to shake violently. I am thinking that it’s just the guy on the top bunk being a dick. There is an earthquake!. Yep, I survived an earthquake! I We then have to leave for Pai, which is the worst drive ever.