Bangkok

Happy birthday, Scara

Since Sara has that scratch under her eye from the night before, I am calling her Scara. You know, like Scar from The Lion King?

Except for the fact that she keeps mentioning the scratches and the fact that it all happened on her birthday, she is in fairly good spirits. I try to make her feel better by taking her to MBK, where we have some food and I buy us a VIP ticket to The Amazing Spiderman 2 (which is pretty crappy, despite having Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone in it)

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Free welcome drink in the VIP lounge

I thought I was a mall person. That was until today. If I wasn’t here with Sara, I would sit down on the floor and sob until someone carries me out of this textile hell. We actually manage to get lost more than once in this friggin country of a mall, and at one point I have to ask the Information desk how I get out of there. Some things can actually be too big.

We get back to our hostel, Born Free, and spontaniously book a flight to Chiang Mai. Then we head to We ❤️ Bangkok hostel to get a few beers with Kirstin. We end up at the Patpong night market, and we see a ping pong show with ping pong balls – finally! The girl hits me in the face with one, so ratchet. Another one writes this message with a sharpie shoved up her special place:

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There is no entrance fee at the ping pong show, but buying at least one drink per person is required – and they are all 200 baht. I go to pay for my drink at the bar, but I am met by an old, big and moody thai woman, who wants me to pay over 5000 baht for three drinks, a show and an extra show. I refuse, telling her I am only paying for the drink I agreed to pay for, and I hand her two 100 baht bills. She doesn’t accept them, now shouting at me to pay for Kirstin and Sara as well, a total of 600 baht. I put my money back in my purse and try to walk away, when she jumps in front of me and gets aggressive. The girls approach me to see what’s going on, and a small discussion starts. The girls each hand over 200 baht, and I do as well with a big sigh. This pushes the lady over the edge, and she starts to scream and shove me, and we hurry out. We walk back to Kirstin’s hostel, before we say goodbye and take a taxi back to Born Free.

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It’s sad to say goodbye. Two weeks ago, I went up to this girl painting the palms of her hands with flourescent paint and said, “this is a strange request, but can you do a handprint on my butt?”
It was love at first indecent proposal.
Two weeks and two pubcrawls, one hilarious bikini wax in Koh Tao, and countless balloons and toasties later, it’s goodbye… for now. Ratches ass hoes drunk in love 4evah <3

Barfight in Bangkok

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It’s official: leggings are not pants. I learn that the hard way, standing outside The Grand Palace, hoping to get some pictures with my fancy DSLR without having to pay the entrance fee. Not wanting to put in a 200 baht deposit for cover-up, when I’m not going to pay the entrance fee, I have to leave, disappointed by my lack of pants and willingness to be a proper tourist. I’ll have to do a rain check on the whole meeting the King and planning our joint birthday party.

Dizzy from a few ballons and rough dancing on Khao San Road the night before, we head towards the pier through the street markets. One of the markets, the Tatien market, is the most stinking and disgusting market I’ve ever seen. Everything is fish scales and rotten stuff. Yikes.

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We take a boat to Wat Arun, or Temple of Dawn, but once again, none of us want to pay entrance. I am getting increasingly upset about half-assing and rushing it, rather than enjoying it.

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At least we took one of these photos at Wat Arun, and then a lady came running and wanted 40 baht from us

Our next, and unfortunately final stop, is Wat Pho, wherein you can see the Reclining Buddha.

20140430-132432.jpgIt’s impossible taking pictures with Buddha, gosh…

20140430-132503.jpg…Except I got all 43 m of him squeezed in on this photo

Then we take a Skytrain from MBK to Terminal 21. It’s a massive shopping mall, where every floor is a famous big city, like Paris, Tokyo and San Fransisco. Pretty cool, actually. We have fish and chips on Henry’s insistence, and take a look at all the pretty things we can’t buy.

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Kirstin really likes this handbag

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At night, we do some shopping on Khao San Road, before grabbing some drinks and a hookah at a bar. Here, we meet a group of people from England, and together we go to a smaller bar with great music, so we can dance.

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Hours and hours later, we end up in a nightclub with expensive drinks and horrible music. Here, we meet guy X, who like Sara is celebrating his birthday that night. As they start talking, a girl goes between them and starts making out with X. According to Sara, he asks her to shake this girl off, so she keeps talking to him, and suddenly there is punching and hair pulling on the dancefloor. Sara is gone, and I confront the girl I think is to blame, but she points at her friend, who is the real culprit. Some friend, hey? I tell her – in an angry tone obviously – that she can’t punch people, and our discussion is brief, as she throws an ice cube at my eye, and I am being pushed away from her by three other people as I try to regain my sight. Suddenly, she is standing right in front of me, her back turned to me, and I punch her. In the head, with my fist. I have never hit anyone before, and I probably don’t do it rihgt, but I hit a girl while she isn’t looking, and I run away. I am a coward. As I try to find Sara and Kirstin, I see the girl and her friends pulling at Kirstin’s hair. We separate them and get them kicked out, but soon after the security guard kicks us out too, since the girls outside keep complaining. I am livid and not in the mood for more partying, so I am in bed by 3.30. On my way home, I see the girls we have been fighting at McDonald’s, so my midnight snack plans are ruined and I just head straight to the hostel. Less than an hour later, Sara comes into the room, covered in scratches and crying. The girls have attacked her while she was on her way home. And they stole her cheesesburger. Those bastards. The next day, she has a vertical red line under her eye, and Kirstin has a black eye (she punched the girls back though, I should add).

All in all, succesful night, I guess.